1991 was the dark years, I was actually in jail, and I had some teeth removed. The dental hygienist in the jail dropped one of the instruments and it pricked her leg, so they asked everyone who had saw the dentist that day in jail to take an HIV test. That's how I found out.
What did you know about HIV when you found out?
Actually, not a whole lot. You know, everybody who had HIV was going to lose a whole lot of weight; that was my knowledge of it at the time.
Did you start praying? Did you get religious?
Well, no. I've always been, I grew up in the Church, so my thing was, you know, hey, it is what it is. I knew the risk. I knew I was an injection drug user. So I kind of reserved myself to pretty much prepare myself to die. I just didn't want to die in jail. I had just gotten a new eight-year sentence, so once I found out I was HIV positive I positioned the Court for a suspended sentence, and got it, after only four months into the eight-month sentence. I think they was kind of like, OK. They didn't want to deal with anybody HIV positive at that point.
Could you tell us what you were in jail for?
It was drug possession for resale. Possession.
So you got out of jail, and then what did you do?
Well, I got out of jail, and I started back shooting drugs, for only a very short period of time. And then I went into treatment. "The fact that I knew I was HIV positive and sharing needles; that's what consciously I wanted to clean myself up with. Because I didn't want anyone else to get infected as a result of me sharing needles."
Did you get treatment? Did you get whatever was available?
AZT at that point. Because, at the time, I had heard somebody say, you know, it was better to take something than not to take anything. But I had very, very low knowledge of the disease itself. A year or so later after then I started doing the work. I started educating myself. And that's what made me found the agency. Because there wasn't a whole lot of education, particularly to the people who was becoming infected the way I did -- you know, out on the streets, injecting drugs, or doing all kind of risky behavior. Particularly in communities of color -- we didn't have a lot of education. All we knew, mostly about HIV at that point was, it was gay, white men.
And there was no needle exchange back then.
No.
So what miraculous journey did you take to survive?
Actually, I'm a pretty open person, and I was pretty open with my status from the word go. So I guess it was just an act of God that kept me healthy all these years. Over the years, the people that I did shoot dope with, just about all of them are dead.
"I've taken plenty of vitamins. I used to swim a couple of miles a day. I used to get up and do a thousand push-ups every morning. I've done everything humanly imaginable . . . eat a lot of fruit . . . I've done everything. I've done juices. I've done herbs. I've done everything that I thought would keep me living."
Did you do anything different? Did you take vitamins? Did you work out? Did you juice?
Oh, yes. I think that anybody would have given up. I think that the fact that I have been so open. I think the stress of people trying to keep HIV a secret, particularly minorities . . .. Minorities have not done well with the fact of an HIV diagnosis. They don't want anyone to know. They take it to their grave. And I think that is what has helped me, I've always been open, from the word, from the jump, from when I first got the diagnosis, I went public.
What bad things happened to you, as a result of going public?
Nothing. Not to my knowledge. Not a thing.
You don't think people avoid you?
No. No. If they did, they didn't do it in such a way that I was aware of it. So, no. I'm just an open person.
So you think the people who are fearful of telling others, they might not understand what actually happens when you tell people?
What was your CD4 count when you were diagnosed?
Actually, my CD4 count has always been around 500. Always. And it's still around 500 or 600.
You're still very active.
"I think people have this notion that your life is going to dramatically change because you're HIV positive. And I don't know if I'm extremely lucky, or I'm extremely unusual, or what. But life has been . . . hey, the same for me."
Very active. I work 12, 14 hours every day. Recently married.
Let's talk about that. Tell me how you found love, being HIV positive. Do you find it's a particular challenge?
It wasn't for me. Again, I think people have this notion that your life is going to dramatically change because you're HIV positive. And I don't know if I'm extremely lucky, or I'm extremely unusual, or what. But life has been . . . hey, the same for me. I've always had a girlfriend. I've always just lived life as it comes, you know? And once I tell the female partner that I'm HIV positive, and educate them, it doesn't seem to be an issue.
You're just not afraid to tell people things.
No. And so you meet lots of people. I do. And I think that is what has helped me, that and working. I never even considered going on disability. I never tried it. I've always worked. And I just . . .. Life just kept going as the old one.
It sounds like you've overcome the stigma of HIV. Have you overcome the stigma of being previously incarcerated? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
"My life is an open book. You know: hey, I'm a drug addict; and hey, I'm HIV positive. So, you know, deal with it."
Do a lot of people think you're gay?
No. Well, meaning, because of the HIV.
Yeah. No, no. I mean, and that's another misconception about being HIV positive. When I do presentations, the first thing people ask me: How did I get infected? And my question will still be to them: How do you think I got infected? And nobody ever says gay. So, I don't know. I mean, I don't know.
But do you think the source of a lot of the stigma related to HIV, particularly in the African-American community, is the homophobia?
Yes, I do. And the reason: I think that the media didn't do a great job in the beginning. And people are still stuck in that mindset -- what they saw, what they heard, always. I even remember, when I first heard about it, you know, my first thing was, I'm not gay, You know? So I'm not going to get it.
Then, the next thing they came out with: OK, now we're seeing it amongst IV drug users. OK, I had to rethink that then, you know. And I had taken an HIV test before that came back negative. And I was like, oh, God, I got that.
And I went to jail that time, and I had never even thought about it anymore, in between the first time I took the test and the time I was incarcerated.
So you're going to shooting galleries, and you're trying to help people.
I do exactly the work that needed to be done.
For you.
"People ask me all the time, 'Why you work so hard? Why you work so much? Take a vacation.' And I say, 'Listen. If I can save one person from becoming HIV infected, that has a ripple effect.' Because if you save one person, you, in fact, save several people."
Your chances of getting run over by an 18-wheeler truck is greater than you dying of HIV. Take care of yourself. Change some of your behaviors. Take good care of yourself. And you probably will live forever."
Hey, this is not a death sentence anymore.
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